Time Cube

Concentrate the crudest intellectual pathologies of time-travel theory, then deduct the time-travel. Augment with free-style Biblical exegesis and gonzo web-page design. Enter the Time Cube. Right now four days are taking place simultaneously, but the powers-that-be are committed to hiding that truth of sacred time geometry from you. As explained to students at MIT (link below): “When you understand this time theory you can answer any other question that comes up in the universe.” (Mind = Blown.)

Urban Future was reminded of Gene Ray’s gnostic time doctrine by this (rather lame) selection of “sinister conspiracy theories” listed by The Independent. Some of the other SCTs are clearly quite gone (“World War II was staged by the illuminati”), but none of them approaches the plane of Ray’s revelation. A small taster (stripped of throbbing font-switches):

Belly-Button Logic Works.

When Do Teenagers Die?
Adults Eat Teenagers Alive,
No Record Of Their Death.
Father Son Image, Not Gods.
Every Man Born Of Woman.

Belly-Button Is the Signature
Of Your Personal Creator —
I Believe Her Name Mama.

Pastor Told His Flock That
God Created All Of Them —
Truth Was That They All had
Mama Made Belly Buttons,
Church Was Full Of Liars.

Earth Has 4 Days In Same 24 Hrs., 1 Day God Was Wrong.
Einstein Was ONEist Brain.

Try My Belly-Button Logic.

No God Knows About 4 Days, It Is Evil To Ignore 4 Days,

Does Your Teacher Know?

There’s a US$10,000 prize on offer for anyone who can “prove it wrong” (yet to be claimed).

Wikipedia has a succinct and helpful portal into the topic. The most crucial Time Cube theses are condensed at the Encyclopedia Dramatica. Know Your Meme has a (single) time-line-based introduction (which begins in August 1997). KYM links to this remarkably bad-tempered exchange.

There’s a suitably chaotic short video ‘documentary’ here. Also, Gene Ray at MIT (January 2002). More.

The most penetrating academic engagement with Ray’s ideas, by Bei Dawai (from Hsuan Chuang University in Taiwan) can be found here.

ADDED: There’s an ominous sub-conspiracy, for anyone wanting to crank Time Cube down to The Independent‘s level (repeated KYM link):

Cubic Awareness Online [@], originally located at cubicao.tk, was the first and largest fan site for the Time Cube. Run by Richard Janczarski, the site also spawned a message board called Graveyard of the Gods [@], where Janczarski was known as “Cubehead.” In 2007, Janczarski flew out to Florida from his home in Australia to meet up with Gene Ray to discuss the site and share ideas about the theory. While he was there, he filmed an eighteen part documentary titled The Dr Gene Ray Time Cube Experience, which he uploaded to his YouTube account Pyramid0rz [@].

In February 2008, a year after he publicly denounced the religion, calling it an “evil scam.”, Janczarski announced on the Graveyard of the Gods forum that he had renounced Time Cube theory in favor of Christianity and would possibly be changing cubicao.tk into a Christian website. On February 13th, a rumor surfaced on the forums that Janczarski had taken his own life by jumping in front of a train [@] but an official news report was ever found [@]. Other users on the site speculated that Janczarski’s rumored death might have been related to his fallout with Gene Ray [@] over the YouTube series and the “false information” Ray felt he was presenting on Cubic Awareness Online [@].

ADDED: A surprisingly lucid Time Cube appreciation. One especially amusing moment:
Q: Is Ray anti-Semitic?
A: All references to “Jews” and “queer Jews” and “queer Jew gods” and “Jew owners have enslaved your ass” should be interpreted as a metonymic reference to monotheism.

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